This is not just another Facebook-related post… Oh, yes it is. But don’t worry, I won’t dwell on the obvious and highly overused side of Facebook this time (I hope). I promise not to bore you since this post is rooted from a juicy, controversial Facebook conversation (which you’ll be curious I guess because I am actually fighting with someone! Haha!) I just realized how many times I mentioned Facebook. Gah. Now, here goes.
Friends in Facebook, strangers in real life.
When I see a friend request from a person I know, but not really friends with nor acquainted with, I always say “Ina-add ako nito sa Facebook, e pag nakikita ko ‘to hindi naman ako pinapansin.” So, I click Ignore. (Although sometimes I can’t help but be polite and accept the request. You’ll see later on why I should have just chosen to be impolite.) Worse, if I see friend requests from people I really do not know, here’s what I say:
Sometimes I even think that just because you saw this person in your peripheral vision, found out that person’s on Facebook, you’d go adding him/her up. Which I think is crazy because that person don’t even recognize you for crying out loud.
Yeah, yeah I know ‘that’s why it’s called social networking’
We use Facebook to build networks, yes. We add people up so we can build this network we’re talking about. I can see that. But my point here is, how can you call it a network if the connection is merely grounded on Facebook? What if you don’t even get to mingle with this person, personally? Or if even within Facebook, you are not in speaking terms? It is not so much of a useful network if it is composed of passive, non-interactive contacts. You’re just one more name added to my friends list and that’s it. What good could I make out of you if our relationship ends there?
It’s not that I’m a user in disguise, no. But let’s face it, we make contacts, build networks because we assume that in the future we might need this or that person’s skills, services, contacts or what have you. And Facebook should just be an instrument to that, like a stepping stone to build up the relationship. You should still go out there, go offline and go meet that contact. Or if you prefer an online relationship, you should at least interact with each other. Go comment on that post, or just ‘like’ it. Just so you know you are both existing in each other’s world. Facebook should be the means to an end and not the end itself. (Most of us, orcom majors, know this but just in case the people I’m trying to enlighten happen to pass by this blog, he/she now knows!)
This is why I wish I should not have been polite
This phenomenon wasn’t annoying me just yet for me to blog about it until one simple Facebook comment conversation I made with a person whom I thought considers me as a friend or acquaintance already (since we already met in person, occasionally laughing at the jokes of the other, and he was the one who added me on Facebook) got offended with a very stupid, nonsensical, malicious-free, no strings attached, joke that I made.
Since I can’t find the post anymore, (probably he deleted it) I’ll just tell you the story. I commented on his post that contained an update that has something to do with Friendster. So for enjoyment sakes, I commented “uhuhhuuuuyyy, nagfefriendster ka pa pala!” His reply didn’t contain any hint of offense or anything so I didn’t know he was feeling otherwise. So I just continued on speaking like a stupid kid, using remarks such as “ang baduy naman.” And that was not pertaining to him but to someone else! We were talking about another person, FYI.
The next day, a very reliable source (his roommate, my best friend, the person we were actually talking about and the person I’m pertaining to as baduy) told me not to talk to this guy again, ever. Since they were having a drinking session the other night, the person spilled the beans. He told my best friend that I shouldn’t talk to him like that, because “hindi kami close” he even said “kung anu-ano sinabi sakin”. My comment, ‘allegedly’ humiliated him. Hey you, mister! I was just being polite! I was trying to explain to you those remarks I made which you didn’t understand! Is it my fault that you’re kind of slow? (loading…..)
In connection to what I’m saying
This is why I don’t want to accept friend requests from strangers, literally and metaphorically. Because it’s either they’re just people who won’t even bother to look at you when they see you personally or like that guy in my story who doesn’t really consider you as a friend and believes that your friendship in Facebook are just all in name.
So, if this is what you call networking, just accepting friend requests from or adding up random people so you could have like 4000+ contacts (that you’ll have to make another account and add the same people, STUPID), thank you, but no, thank you! I’d rather filter my contacts and build a small but reliable network which I can really turn to when I’m in need. Just like this: